Solitude

I’ve never felt more alone,

Than what I feel right now,

More exposed,

Like a raw nerve that wants to forget,

The extremities that come from searing the skin,

A constant reminder of the delusions,

The misguided turns on the streets of confusion,

I can’t tell you these things,

Because my thoughts will destroy you,

Will obliterate this image of yourself,

Deep into the hollow roots,

Which have mangled your heart and twisted your perceptions,

Sharing a thought with you,

Is like shouting into the wind,

The ears do not hear,

The eyes do not read,

The outpouring which doesn’t want to stop,

Screaming into the nothingness,

Hoping that by some odd chance,

My words will catch your attention,

That you will reach out to me,

Reply to cries of loneliness,

Solitude follows me,

Even in a room full of people,

Even when you are directly in front of me,

I am only visible when you find yourself needing me,

How is this possible?

How can someone care so little,

For something they said they cared so much for?

How can you say you have no one,

When all I have done is sacrificed my happiness for yours?

And what has that gotten me?

A room filled with emptiness,

A heart to match,

And the regret that comes with caring too much,

I’ve never felt so alone,

Never quite like this…

2 thoughts on “Solitude

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